2016, the year I will document the real Grigsby life

There are SO many updates to write, but here's the quick and dirty. David and I are the parents of 4 (WHAT?) kids now! Ellie is 5, Cameron and Kyle are 3 and sweet baby Jane is just 6 weeks old. Life with 4 kids age 5 and under is madness, exhausting, busy, chaotic, beautiful and the best thing we've ever done. You think adding that 4th child is going to be absolutely crazy, but for us it just adds beauty and joy to our already crazy life!

I share loads of pictures of my kids on social media, but I haven't taken the time to write the stories behind the pictures, shared my thoughts and feelings of motherhood and really documented our lives. I'm going to share the real Grigsby life here for anybody who wants to read it. The good, the bad and the ugly. I hate reading about and seeing seemingly-perfect lives because they put the idea into my brain that I'm not good enough, organized enough and fun enough, so that's not what you're going to get here.

I hope you'll enjoy reading about the crazy Grigsby life as much as I know I'll enjoy writing about it!

Fitting in

Warning: this post is a poor pity me post and serves no real purpose other than to get my feelings out.

I have been having a hard time here lately. I feel very disconnected to anybody here, for obvious reasons...

Moving here was really hard for me, even though it has been a super great blessing. We moved here at a difficult time: I was about 8 weeks pregnant with NO idea it was twins, super SUPER sick, and not really excited to start out in a new place yet.

Almost a month after being here, we found out we were expecting twins. Then that is really when things started to get harder. My sickness stopped, but when I started hurting, it was hard to be motivated to do anything at all. We only had one car until July and so Ellie and I were stuck at home every day. It was hard!!

Then as the pregnancy continued, more pain followed, more exhaustion crept up on me, and I was so tired all the time, so I didn't want to go anywhere with Ellie!

I would go here and there, but taking her to the park was a nogo for a few reasons: 1) it was seriously so hot and humid 2) she ran away from me all the time so I couldn't risk taking her somewhere I couldn't have control 3) I was hurting and all I wanted to do way lay down so I wasn't in as much pain.

Basically, as I grew bigger and bigger I got less and less mobile and simple things were getting so hard! Then at 31 weeks, a huge wrench was thrown in the mix and I was hospitalized and put on bed rest.

That was the hardest month of my life. I couldn't do anything, go anywhere and I just wanted to be done! Going into labor at a point when they would no longer stop it was the best blessing I could have received because I was just done being pregnant with twins!!

I promise all this is relevant and I am trying to make a point...

So then we had the twins during cold and flu season and we have mostly kept them home, which means I'm back to being stuck at home all the time. Sick season is almost over, so we will start to get out more, but I have kept my boys home in order to protect them, not to mention the logistical reasons...getting out with one newborn was a challenge. Getting out with two is downright crazy!

So with all that background info, I'm going to finally get to the point of this post.

I came here at a hard time. An emotional time, and I left behind best friends that shouldn't and never will be replaced. Because of the circumstances of life, I didn't have the opportunity to make really great friends right away. I feel like I have a lot of pretty good friends, but not many I could just call upon to hang out. I haven't let myself really open up to anyone enough to build a good friendship, aside from a couple of people here and here that I feel I can really count on.

So, being here is hard! I miss my friends, my family and it is hard to be somewhere when you feel like you still haven't connected with anyone. And being in a ward full of older people doesn't help. I honestly feel like the person I know the best and can count on the most is someone much older than me, who is in a completely different stage of life, with children nearly as old as I am, and I am pretty certain I am not considered one of her closest friends, or even someone she would call to invite to hang out with...

Hopefully as the twins get older, I can get out a lot more and get to know more people at a deeper level, and start to feel like maybe I fit in here a bit better. But for now, I feel alone and bummed out a lot of the time. I hope I can make a great group of friends soon, and fill that void so I feel like I can fit in more.

Like I said, I feel like I have a lot of acquaintance friends; people I don't know on a deeper level, people that I couldn't just call up and say, "Hey, let's hang out." And this is so hard for me. I'm not trying to offend anyone here by saying that they haven't opened up to me, or anything, just that circumstances have not allowed me to get to know people enough to make really good connections and friends.

I really hope this can change and that I can open myself up to making friends and finding a group of friends that I can do things with, because not having friends in a new place is hard... And it is wearing me down.

Here's to hoping 2013 brings me lots of opportunities to make friends and have fun! I need it, and so does the welfare of my family :) because being unhappy because I feel alone is not good for my mood, and when I'm unhappy, everyone else is, too.

The next 15 days can't come fast enough!!

Warning, venting and emotionalness ahead...

Tonight I'm having a hard time with everything. I really *want* to like it here in Tennessee, I do. I just am having a really hard time liking it. Sure, it's pretty, people are friendly, we have a nice place to live, David has a great job, but none of those things are making up for how I'm feeling now.

I miss my old ward. I am having a hard time liking the ward here. There aren't any other young couples and it's really hard for me since that's where I was hoping to make friends. I've made a couple of friends here so far, but you can't replace your friends, and I'm REALLY missing the friends I have that I'm so far away from right now. I was way too spoiled to have the best friend I could ever have living right next door to me and now it's totally killing me to not have someone nearby I can just visit with!!

I'm having a hard time with the fact that there's not really a good place for Ellie and I to go play that is within walking distance. The grass at our house is so terrible that it's not for playing, as it's full of poky, prickly weeds. There isn't anywhere for us to go on walks, except up and down our street, which is not great, either.

I have a hard time being motivated to actually do things during the day, because I always feel like I have nobody to see, nowhere to go, and not much to look forward to, so I just bum around and attempt to be productive. Because we only have one car, I couldn't go anywhere if I wanted to anyway, so that makes me even less motivated to do anything.

Most of all, I miss my family. Not that I was with them every single day, but the mere thought of being able to drive just a little while to see them was great, and I miss having them close to me, especially when I know they're all together celebrating something or having fun.

It's hard to be excited for the weekends here, because I feel like there's not really anything fun for us to do, other than sit around our house! I miss the many things to do in Provo/Utah County and people to have fun with!

All in all, I'm having a REALLY hard time liking living in Tennessee. It's pretty pathetic when I've only been here for about a month and a half and I'm already counting down the days (15!!!!) to when I'm going back to Utah again! Don't get me wrong, I'm not ungrateful that we're starting a new chapter in our lives and that we have the great opportunity to be here, I'm just having a REALLY REALLY REALLY hard time with it, and it's no fun to feel this way.

Anyway, enough venting/ranting/whining/complaining. I'm going to go sit on the couch and maybe I'll fall asleep sometime tonight??

Updates!

I feel like blogging has been the absolute LAST item on my list of things to do lately, because frankly, life has been crazy around here. With David finishing up projects, presentations, papers, tests and homework assignments, I haven't really wanted to blog and record what's going on these days.

It's official, though! We are moving to Tennessee on April 24th! We're excited, nervous, uneasy and even a bit scared! I'm mostly just scared, though! I don't know what to expect. I don't know how the neighborhoods will be, how grocery stores will be, how church will be, how ANYTHING will be, and I HATE that! It is a bit like when we moved to Albany, NY last summer because we're going to a place I've never been with a million things unknown, except this time, we're staying there for who knows how long!?

I'm not really ready to cut ties with life here in Provo, even though it hasn't been my favorite. I am, however, very excited for a new adventure in Tennessee. It's honestly the last place I thought we'd end up. Hopefully things with the move go well, and we find a place to live quickly! Right now I am just full of butterflies because of so many unknown things!

I'll try to have better updates once we're settled and have some things figured out! But for now, this is all I'm going to write!

Farewell and wish us luck!

Trip to Tennesee

Well, I'm FINALLY writing about our fun trip to TN even though it's been 3 weeks since we went!

We left bright and early Wednesday, August 18th. We were on a nice big plane, so it was a good ride...but the plane from Minneapolis to Nashville was awful. It was a small little plane and I really didn't enjoy it too much. Too much turbulence for me!

Once we landed in Nashville, it was pouring down rain. We went and picked up our rental car and had a fun time with a snotty enterprise agent that wanted to make up charges to the heck of it. We decided to deal with the extra charges at the end of our trip instead of wasting time at the beginning. That first step outside the airport was a shock to me! Holy cow! Where did all the oxygen go?? This was my first experience with humidity, and let me tell you, it's NOT my favorite! I honestly felt like I couldn't take a deep breath at all. It was so strange! It got much better once we were settled in our little Nissa Versa and had the A/C going.

We wanted to take a look around Nashville before taking the 2 hour drive to David's parent's house in Jamestown, so our first stop was of course Opry Mills! Well, if you recall, there was a flood in Nashville that wiped out TONS and TONS of historic sites, businesses AND Opry Mills. It was still closed for clean-up. This is the closest we got to seeing anything



That's right...the Wax museum...closed! So we took a picture of us in front of the sign and pictures of some stars hand and foot prints. This is Phil Vassar's.


Picture in front of the closed sign.


Since everything was pretty much closed for clean-up, we decided to take a trip to the Nashville Temple, just to see the outsides, since it is open only during certain times of the day. If we would have planned things a little better, we would have been able to do a session there, but it was still good to see the grounds and take a picture anyway!


After we saw the Temple, we made our way to Jamestown. Once we got there, we said our hellos and went to dinner at a place called the Garden Grill. They were nearly out of everything, but that's ok, it was a good experience anyway. :)

The next day, we decided to go down the East Fork river by canoe. We packed everything up, made lunches for the float, and headed to a spot where we could put in our canoes. Here's a couple pictures of us before we went down the river.

We got all the stuff down to where we were putting the canoes in, and off we went. David's mom drove the truck back to their house while we ran the river so we could have someone to pick us up.

The beginning of the river run was nice. We were floating leisurely in our canoe, and Dr. dad had his own canoe. Little did we know that would not be the case for much longer. Dr. dad paddled ahead of us just to make sure things would be okay because there was a tree in the middle of the river that we had to go around. Well he was telling us how we needed to go through it and instead should have begun paddling to get himself through it... he got sucked into the current and his canoe started taking in water. We hurried and paddled to shore so David could go help him. We watched as the current and tree combo wreaked havoc on Dr. dad's canoe. It sucked it under the tree and was stuck forever. Luckily, Dr. dad was able to get out in time, otherwise he could have snapped his leg from the weight and pressure of the canoe.

Sadly, everything was in Dr. dad's canoe. The food, water, our camera, Dr. dad's phone, the towels...everything. There was only really one option, since the water was flowing so fast, and that was to all jump in our canoe and keep going down the river.

We hit a few medium rapids after that, but nothing major. We did however, have to duck under a tree that was across the river. That was kinda fun. ;) Once we made it to the take out spot, we all got out and headed up a path to hang out since we had a couple hours to kill before David's mom would be coming to pick us up! The reason we had so much time was because we didn't anticipate the trip to go so quickly! We had floated down the river much faster than we expected because the water was high and fast.

Luckily, there was a meter reader (?) guy at the top of this little path who had a cell phone!! However, there was no service where we were. David, being the hero, ran up the road to try to call his mom and ended up going to some drunken man's house to use his phone. David got a hold of his mom and she was on her way to pick us up.

After she came, we jumped in the truck and headed back to Jamestown to clean up. David and I went to Pizza Hut for lunch, since we were starving. It was a good choice. After that we went back to Jamestown to clean up and rest a little. We went out to dinner that night with D's parents then headed to Oneida, where he grew up. We stayed in the Oneida guest house. The next day we drove around Oneida so I could see where David grew up.

After that, we headed to Knoxville to pick up Alayna & Isaac for our camping trip with Diane, Aaron & family. After we picked her up, we headed to Panther Creek State Park, where we found our campsite all ready for us. We got settled in then just chillaxed and waited for Diane and Aaron to get there.

The first night, we decided to keep the fly off the tent so we could have some air flow and it wouldn't be so muggy. Well, in the middle of the night, we woke up to rain on our faces! We got the fly on and went back to sleep. Mind you, we were sharing a twin mattress. Not my favorite thing. We woke up, ate breakfast and got ready to play and go to the lake. Well, it started pouring...like REALLY pouring, so we headed down to the pavilion with games and played games until the rain let up. When it finally let up, we grabbed lunch and headed down to the lake. Almost everyone played a made up game of Canoe Soccer while I just kinda basked in the sun and swam around the lake. The water was almost too warm for me. It was like taking a bath! So insane! It was the warmest lake I've ever been in and MUCH different than lakes in UT.

After playing in the lake, we cleaned up (thank goodness for showers @ the campsite!) and I discovered that I had a major sunburn. Because the state park was basically right outside of town, we ran to WalMart to get some Aloe and a few other things we needed for dinner.

When we got back we had dinner, visited with family, sang songs and told stories around the campfire. After it got pretty late, we all headed off to bed. I was hoping for a better night's sleep than the previous night but I was dead wrong. I thought I had experienced a huge thunderstorm the night before, but I was wrong about that too! It rained even harder and longer than the night before, and I honestly didn't sleep more than a couple hours through it! Here's a group picture we got @ our little camp out.


Sunday morning, we packed up quickly, gassed up, and went out separate ways. We headed back to Knoxville, Diane & Arron & Fam headed back to NC, and Dr. dad & David's mom headed back to Jamestown. It was a good camping trip, but I'm almost positive I'm never going to go camping while I'm pregnant again. It was miserable. I didn't sleep, I was uncomfortable and it just wasn't my cup of tea. ha ha.

We had originally planned to go to church in Jamestown, but we knew we weren't going to make it in time, so after we dropped Alayna and Isaac off, we headed to a gas station to clean up and get dressed for church. We found the LDS chapel and went to Sacrament Meeting. David was able to see some people he knew from his earlier years, so that was good. After that, we headed to Jamestown, and went straight to church to catch Sunday School & Relief Society/Priesthood meetings. We met up with David's parents there, and then stuck around for their ward's after church lunch. It was pretty good.

After that, we headed back to David's parent's house so Dr. dad and David could complete a mission: operation rescue canoe. They had borrowed a chainsaw and took one canoe down the river. They cut the tree up and rescued the red canoe from the tree which held it captive, and I don't know all the details, because I wasn't there! (thank goodness!!)

After they returned, we just visited with David's parents and packed up, since we were leaving the next morning. I slept very very well that night, since we weren't sharing a twin bed in a wet and soggy tent.

The next morning, we packed up and headed out. We grabbed lunch at subway in a town I don't remember what it's called, and then made our way to Nashville. We had originally planned to see more of Nashville, but decided to just go to the airport in case lines were long. We talked to enterprise and guess what!? Stupid guy from the day we got there wasn't there, and we were charged almost $100 less than the stupid guy told us we were going to be charged (thank goodness!) The rest of the trip is like you can imagine...riding on a small plane, miserable, barely making our plane in Cincinnati, and finally getting back to normal, breathable air in UT.

It was a good trip and I'm glad we were able to go.